“A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.” Deuteronomy 19:15.
One of the challenges of life is the inevitable reality that we will face conflict with others. There is no way to live in a broken world, knowing we are broken ourselves, and get away with a conflict free life. Frankly, most of us have enough personal conflict inside of us that we could find a way to have a disagreement with the person in the mirror much less anyone else.
Either intentionally or unintentionally we are going to clash with others. We get hurt and we say mean things to others. Many times we misinterpret what others say or do, and we take it personally. Sometimes we do things that others misunderstand – all this can create a vicious circle of conflict that, if not arrested can become bitter and destructive.
Much of the problem is not always the conflict in and of itself, but perceived motives. There is always a huge difference in a person’s reaction to someone based on perceived motives. If a person feels that someone has intentionally hurt them, their response is often aggressive. If the perceived actions appear unintentional, reconciliation is much easier. Motives are often convoluted between reality and perception, and finding the reality is not easy.
But many times our conflicts turn into dramatic “fish stories”. When witnesses observe a “crime” or event, it is not uncommon for testimonies to differ in various points. People latch on to different things, people remember things differently, which is not bad or wrong. But the danger is when people over play the victim card the more they feel they had been attacked. We always have a tendency to see the issues in others as an issue of character and the issues in our own life as circumstantial. The problem of seeing the “speck” in others and missing the “log” in our own eye was the warning of Jesus related to the danger of an unforgiving spirit.
All that to say that the wisdom of the ancient Scriptures may be more relevant than we think. Clearly resolving a crime or wrong-doing often gets buried in a tornado of hurt feelings and it is easy to lose sight of the facts by trying to resolve the symptomatic turmoil of emotional upheaval.
A final conclusion about culpability could not be determined by one witness. Only on the basis of two or three witnesses could a matter be brought to a close. The same attitude was replicated in Matthew 18:15-20. The basis for resolving sin issues was based on the impartial validation of the two or three witnesses.
That being said, the highest priority of the Scriptures is to resolve conflict. If a person is preparing for worship and they suddenly realize their brother has something against them, they are drop everything and go reconcile with their brother and then come and worship (Matt. 5:23-24). If someone sins against you, you are to go and reconcile with them (Matt. 18:15). The immediate imperative when there is conflict with brothers or sisters in Christ is to resolve the conflict.
One of Jesus’ high priorities in His “high-priestly prayer” in John 17 was unity. Fewer things will destroy a church more quickly than unresolved, interpersonal conflict amongst believers. It would seem that it does not matter if the other person is at fault, or I have sinned against my brother, the imperative was to go and reconcile. Biblical Christianity demands that believers reconcile based on truth. The problem for many is they would rather be right than be in right relationship.
In His forgiving grace,
Pastor Brad.
