For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us (1 Thessalonians 2:5-8).
Our picture of the Apostle Paul is often a hard-driving, in-your-face, hard-core evangelist. He goes where no man has gone before. He appeared to be an intolerant, hard-nosed leader when he refused to take John Mark with him on a second missions trip because Mark abandoned Paul on the first trip (Acts 13:13). Paul was so adamant about not taking Mark that he and Barnabas had a huge fight and parted ways over Mark (Acts 15:37-40). He takes on the Jewish legalists and confronts their requirement of circumcision. He faces life and death challenges where he aggravates the local authorities to such an extent that he has to flee to the next city to escape imprisonment or even death.
When I read 1 Thessalonians 1-2, we see a side of Paul that is not my first impression of Paul. Sometimes I have had to read this a couple of times because this is not the Paul I am used to seeing. The language here just does not fit the profile I have with Paul.
We were gentle, like a nursing mother taking care of her children. Wow! That is a bit of a new thought. I would never have guessed Paul using that language to describe himself or his ministry. His demeaner is profoundly loving and caring. He treats the Thessalonian Christians like his children, people he cares deeply for and will protect them from any danger.
He is so committed to this group of Christians he says, we were not only ready to share the gospel with you but also our own lives. I know there are pastors, leaders, and teachers that relationships are hard. They love to preach and teach and dispense God’s truth in creative and powerful ways. Their whole identity is wrapped up in this glorious task of preaching and teaching. They devote themselves to their studies diligently. The problem is their commitment to people is nominal. They preach and leave. They say hi and depart. They do the cordial thing to make an appearance but head on to other things the moment things wane. They don’t always know what kind of conversations to have with people, so interactions are usually awkward.
Paul was ready to share his life with them. This is the mental conviction of transparency. He will allow them to see him with all his flaws and scars. He allowed them to get close. He opened his life up to relationships. He risked the mystic of being the great evangelist so they could see the man. He was invested in their growth. He could impress them from a distance but only impact them up close.
There are lots of people who are terrified of building relationships. They will do their part: volunteer, serve, participate, and help with a program. But they are the first out the door when the program is done, or the service is over because they are intimidated by people. Sometimes we think this is humility when it is a cover for fear.
I get it! Not everyone is an extrovert or an evangelist. But to isolate and be secluded and “just do my job” misses the whole point of ministry. Ministry is about relationships and about giving yourself to relationships for their growth in Christ. When we make it about others, we are free to invest and benefit from others investing in us. When we make it about ourselves then we are constantly protecting ourselves. We hide, dodge, and evade relationships. We do what is required and then flee. We want people to see the image of what we want them to see, but we are fearful to get close.
How much you value, and respect Christ will determine His ability to lift you above your limitations (personality quirks) to find freedom in relationships. You may never be the evangelist but we all can learn how to deepen our relationships with others. This is the essential nature of ministry – caring about others.
Pastor Brad Little
