The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside! I shall be killed in the streets!” The mouth of forbidden women is a deep pit; he with whom the LORD is angry will fall into it. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth, or gives to the rich, will only come to poverty (Proverbs 22:13-16).
What a powerful parenting passage. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. This is a great statement but often ignored especially in our culture because the idea of using a rod (or belt or paddle) or anything to discipline a child is considered irresponsible. How can we justify “spanking” or using anything like this to discipline a child? Obviously, no one advocates abuse but the mere thought of using something to discipline our children these days is labeled as abuse. But the general leaning of our culture is you never touch a child much less discipline them. We could go back and forth endlessly arguing the “merits” or “harm” of discipline but let me show you the other side of the coin – that side of the coin when no discipline is applied to children however you define it.
Context does mean something in Proverbs. You will hear that this is the one place that context is not helpful or even applicable. The argument is that these are proverbial sayings that are independent of one another. There is no relationship with them. While I recognize why context is minimized in Proverbs, I believe the Spirit of God often juxtaposed ideas together that seem completely unrelated but actually have an important relationship that we can’t see on the surface; this is one of those texts that context is amazingly helpful. Regardless of how you think about or implement discipline (or not) these verses make it very clear WHY we need to discipline our children. Notice the surrounding verses.
Three different kinds of people are mentioned. The sluggard, a forbidden women (adulterous) and an oppressor. The sluggard is fearful of everything and often makes up dangers that might be theoretically possible but completely unrealistic. The “strange woman” has become free-wheeling and is dangerous because she lures men to temptation. The oppressor takes advantage of the vulnerable for his own personal gain.
The reason the Spirit of God surrounds this “discipline your child” statement with these completely unrelated problem people is simple. The point here is that if parents are unwilling to discipline their children (when they are children), their children grow up to be these kinds of problem people. A lack of training (discipline) produces sluggards. The absence of discipline setting boundaries in relationship produces an adulterous. The neglect of correction will turn a child into an oppressor (as an adult) who takes advantage of those who are vulnerable, exploiting others for their own gain.
My wife is a public-school teacher, and she is seeing attitudes and behaviors in kids now that she has never seen in a lifetime of teaching. Between parents who have no clue how to discipline and a system that refuses to discipline (in any meaningful manner) we are turning out a generation of sluggards who are lazy and entitled. Fear is a big component of this problem. We will produce a generation of adults that exploit others simply based on their own appetites. We will see more and more people oppressing others who are more vulnerable. We are seeing our culture disintegrating right in front of us.
You may debate the value of “the rod of discipline” but our culture is showing us the fruit of a complete lack of discipline. Kids are growing up to become sluggards, adulterers, and oppressors. It seems like an apt description of where we are going.
In His grace,
Pastor Brad
