I received a call on Sunday night letting Barb and I know that some friends back on the west coast had the tragic experience of finding out last Wednesday that their son committed suicide. The funeral will be this weekend. We have been friends with the couple for many years. I was involved with the dad in a discipleship relationship for a number of years and we have enjoyed their friendship and walk in a life of grace. This is obviously a very difficult, almost unbearable situation for any parent to face. What is more shocking is that it appears that their son’s final demise was in whole or in part motivated by bullying by other kids. He was only 15 years old.
These tragedies will never make any sense and always leave us frustrated, angry, and agonizing over such a loss. How many parents have to bury their children? Not something we plan or expect. We also find ourselves struggling to figure out how anyone, much less kids, feel like they can abuse and mistreat others in this manner. I believe such events fall into the category of moral evil (as opposed to natural evil) and they are very disturbing; we have a general belief that human beings are above these kinds of things but we discover, time and again, this is not the case. People do horrible things to others… it is obviously disturbing and it is the one time that we feel helpless – we have no answers to fix such problems.
It is in moments like this that the divine voice of our Father whispers in my heart and mind. Clearly our world has no answers for this. Sure we have our judicial system that can restrain and punish people for such things; we have counselors who can help people manage their personal issues; we have the medical field that seeks to suppress the chemical imbalances in our bodies; we have support systems to establish some level of support and encouragement; we have religion that helps orient a person’s moral compass. The sad thing is that none of these things is a solution… yes you heard me correctly religion is clearly not the solution to these issues either. Listen to Paul’s statement in Colossians 2:20-23:
If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, 21 “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” 22 (which all refer to things destined to perish with the using)– in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? 23 These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence. (Col 2:20 NAS)
This is a great picture of religion and Paul is very clear that religion has no impact on the real deep and agonizing issues of the Flesh (Colossians 2:23). But this is exactly where so many people live, even Christians. They want to give God a try and do their best to conform to a list of rules, regulations and religious expectations. When they find out these things are useless against the Flesh they conclude that religion does not work – which actually is a great insight. But unfortunately, these same people almost always draw the erroneous conclusion that God does not work and is irrelevant to real life – if suicide is tragic (which is certainly an understatement) misunderstanding the difference between religion and relationship with God is catastrophic.
Do you understand the profound and critical difference between religion and relationship with God? Religion is where we seek to be our own god and fix our own issues; it is often an attempt to be spiritual without God. A genuine relationship with Him is being open to the healing power and presence of His grace and mercy. Relationship with Him must acknowledge our inability to fix “us” and we must rely completely on the One who is our healer and refuge. If you miss this very critical truth, you miss everything about God and why Jesus Christ died for us.
Pastor Brad
